


You’re enough

by Some_Dead_Guy



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Hanzo Shimada Angst, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Kisses, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-02
Updated: 2019-01-02
Packaged: 2019-10-02 14:34:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,952
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17265944
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Some_Dead_Guy/pseuds/Some_Dead_Guy
Summary: Jesse treats Hanzo like he actually matters, and Hanzo doesn’t think he deserves it.Jesse makes sure Hanzo knows he’s loved.





	You’re enough

__Hanzo was draped in Jesse’s lap and it was far more comfortable than what should be humanly possible. Jesse had his flesh hand carding through Hanzo’s inky black hair absentmindedly, prosthetic hand flicking between articles on a tablet.

 

Hanzo couldn’t help but stare up at him for a few moments, taking advantage of Jesse being distracted with the device. They were in Jesse’s room, and Hanzo was still becoming accustomed to having 24/7 access to the cowboy’s quarters. It was strange, being this close to someone after a long period of being alone, and that was one of the reasons Hanzo couldn’t stop having staring spells where he’d ponder about how he was even able to come to this point.

 

When he first arrived upon Overwatch per Genji’s request, Jesse was the first to make a move on trying to befriend Hanzo. Where most everyone else was distant, smiles a bit forced and postures weary, Jesse was up under him and had no hesitance in using pet names such as “darlin’” and “sweet pea”. It was much more endearing than Hanzo would ever admit, even in their current relationship.

 

And Jesse wormed his way into Hanzo’s affections much too quickly. It was ridiculously easier than Hanzo would have ever imagined it could be, and he found himself wondering if it was just a Jesse thing, being able to easily slide into someone’s life without them noticing. 

 

Their tentative friendship started with sleepless nights, awoken by nightmares and searching for warm drinks in a dimly lit kitchen. Insomnia wasn’t a stranger to either of them, and having someone to speak with at three in the morning was more therapeutic than expected. Chance encounters in the middle of the night and early morning morphed into sharing space in training rooms on purpose. They’d practice shooting together, and although Jesse’s gun was too loud for Hanzo’s taste, he was impressed with the cowboy’s skill. Though he wouldn’t tell Jesse that, it’d only inflate his ego and open a door to endless teasing.

 

Then Jesse kissed him somewhere along the line. It was warm and Jesse smelt like heated earth and smoke and it was much more pleasing than Hanzo thought it should be.

 

So, it didn’t take much for Jesse to convince him to talk with others around the base. He hesitantly stayed for dinners, sitting between Jesse and Genji so he didn’t have to awkwardly sit next to anyone else. Hanzo half expected a train wreck, because although none of them were particularly hostile, it was obvious they weren’t too fond of him. But he slipped into conversation with relative ease, not exactly smiling at the jokes made by other team members but feeling lighter than usual. 

 

When everyone left and dinner was finished, Jesse said he was proud of Hanzo and gave him a quick kiss on the corner of his mouth. Hanzo grumbled about how he didn’t need his approval but a warm weight settled in his chest that he felt for days after.

 

He joined Overwatch officially not much longer after two months of being around everyone. He didn’t want to say he was attached, but he knew he was, and he’d be a dirty liar if he denied it.

 

He was especially attached to Jesse and his honey sweet laugh and whiskey colored eyes and kisses that were warm enough to compete with the sun.

 

But he couldn’t stop thinking he didn’t deserve anything he was receiving. He had practically killed Genji, completely destroyed his body, and yet he was forgiven by his brother. He knew of Genji and Jesse’s friendship, and Jesse forgave the man that had maimed his best friend. Neither of them had any reason to truly forgive him, they had every right to wish him pain and suffering, and yet Jesse looked at him as if he hung the sun, moon, and stars just for him and he was completely  _ undeserving  _ of that kindness and love.

 

He was still expecting a moment of “just kidding” from Jesse where he’ll say he was joking about all of this just to mess with him, or maybe he’ll finally come to his senses and realize there was nothing of worth left in Hanzo. And Hanzo wouldn’t stop him from leaving when he decided to, not because he doesn’t want Jesse, but because he knows that Jesse would be right in leaving him.

 

“Darlin’, what’s the matter?” Jesse rubs a thumb between Hanzo’s furrowed brows, smoothing out the scrunched up skin and placing the tablet down on a bedside table.

 

Hanzo hesitates, and he already knows Jesse won’t believe the strained, “I’m fine.” That leaves his mouth. 

 

“You can tell me sweet pea.” Jesse’s eyes are bright and his smile is soft and patient and,  _ god _ , Hanzo didn’t deserve that expression.

 

Hanzo can’t look at Jesse any longer and he sits up, too abruptly to even try and convince Jesse everything is okay.

 

Hanzo tries not flinch when Jesse touches his shoulder but he couldn’t stop himself. 

 

“Hey, it’s okay, you don’t have to tell me right now.” Jesse rubs gentle circles on Hanzo’s back before tentatively wrapping his arms around Hanzo’s torso, making sure Hanzo processes each of his movements. “But I want to help you, if I can.”

 

Jesse’s warm against his back and Hanzo wants to melt, to forget his worries and just sink into his embrace, but he can’t. He doesn’t deserve this, the attention, the patience, the kindness. Jesse is kind, too kind, and he’s wasting it on Hanzo.

 

“Why do you treat me this way?” His voice almost wobbles, tight and strange even to his own ears.

 

“What do ya mean?” Jesse’s arms around his waist loosen and Hanzo wants to beg him to hold on tighter but he stops himself.

 

“Like this,” Hanzo hesitates, biting into his gums and clearing his throat before continuing. “You're kind, and you act as if you care.”

 

Hanzo doesn’t know if Jesse’s arms pulling him back against his chest makes him feel better or worse. “Why do you treat me like I matter?” His throat constricts and his voice cracks at the end and he winces. 

 

He wants to leave, run to his room like the coward he is and pretend like none of this ever happened. He wants Jesse to get it over with, he wants Jesse to come to his senses and throw him out of his room, just let Hanzo endure the heartbreak sooner rather than later. He wants the inevitable to happen already.

 

“Sweetheart, you matter,” there’s a gentle press of lips against his neck, and Hanzo wants to push into it  _ so bad _ , “you mean the world to me.”

 

Hanzo wants to believe him, wants the soft drags of Jesse’s lips against his throat to never leave, but he pulls away. He almost yanks out of Jesse’s arms, movements too harsh and he almost stumbles once he’s off the bed.

 

“I should leave.” Hanzo’s halfway to the door when there’s hands grasping his arms. He feels a slight tug, like Jesse wants him to turn around, but Hanzo stubbornly keeps his back to him. Jesse sighs, it’s a sad and disappointed noise and Hanzo almost turns around if only to grant Jesse a favor before he leaves to wallow in his sorrows. Almost.

 

“As much as I respect you, I think this is something we need to talk about.” Jesse’s hands don’t leave his arms, as if he’s afraid Hanzo’s going to bolt if he lets go. He’s probably right.

 

“What is there to talk about.” 

 

“Hanzo,  _ please- _ ”

 

Hanzo shrugs off his hands and finally turns to face Jesse, “There is nothing to speak about, now if you’ll excuse me.” Hanzo turns to leave but Jesse grabs onto to him again, his face tense, almost angry, and Hanzo thinks  _ this is it. _

 

Then his face smooths out, and Hanzo is confused when he’s pulled into a tight hug. “Talk to me.”

 

“I, what-“ he weakly pushes at Jesse's chest, a horrid attempt at trying to pull free from his arms. 

 

“There’s something wrong, and I won’t let go until you talk with me.” Jesse holds him closely, but not tight enough to the point where Hanzo couldn’t get out if he really wanted to.

 

Jesse would allow him to break free if he seriously anted to leave, but Hanzo stupidly doesn’t. He places his ear over Jesse’s heart, the calm thumping allowing him to relax.

 

“I’m sorry.” Is the first thing he says, and Jesse hums, asking him to continue. “I-“ Hanzo realizes he doesn’t know where to start or what he should say. He’s quiet for a few moments, finding too much comfort in the traces of Jesse’s fingers against his back.

 

“I don’t deserve you.” He whispers, almost hoping Jesse doesn’t hear it.

 

He does.

 

“‘Course you do.” His cheek is against Hanzo’s head and Hanzo’s can feel the faintest of a smile there. “I’m pretty sure I’m the one who doesn’t deserve an angel like you.”

 

“I’m far from an angel.” Hanzo frowns, not too fond memories of Genji’s bloody body against the ground flitting through his mind.

 

Jesse immediately picks up on his thoughts, squeezing him closer and pressing a kiss to the crown of his head. “Now stop that, that’s all in the past. You’ve come a far way since then, I ain’t done the prettiest things either. You’re here and you’re helping people, you’re trying to do your best and that’s all that matters.”

 

Hanzo sighs into Jesse’s chest. “You’re a much better man than me.”

 

“I’ll admit you’re a bit prickly,” Hanzo feels the soft rumble of laughter through Jesse’s chest and it appeases his nerves more than he’d like to admit. “But you’re a good person at heart.”

 

“I’ve done unspeakable things.” Hanzo’s almost trying to find everything he dislikes about himself, just to hear Jesse refute them. He doesn’t completely believe him, but it loosens his chest just a bit and that’s enough.

 

“But now you’re here, with your brother, with Overwatch,” Jesse cups Hanzo’s face and looks at him with absolute contentment and gentleness that Hanzo feels his breath catch in his throat. “With me.”

 

Jesse leans his forehead against his, a soft smile gracing his lips. “I don’t know what you see in me.” Hanzo traces Jesse’s cheekbones with nimble fingers. “But thank you.”

 

Jesse leans in, lips landing atop Hanzo’s in a sweet press. His hands slide down to Hanzo’s waist, “Anytime sweet cheeks.”

 

Hanzo chuckles lightly at the name. “That is a ridiculous term of endearment.”

 

“Only to see that pretty smiles o’yours.” Jesse places another kiss on his lips, quick and chaste. “It’s a little late, mind sleeping here?”

 

Hanzo pretends to think, “Hm, I don’t know, I’m sure I can make it back to my room just fine.” Hanzo teases, trying and failing to keep from smiling.

 

“Aw, peach, sugarplum,” Jesse kisses down Hanzo’s throat, “apple of my eye, honey, sugar, please stay.”

 

“What is it with food as pet names?” Hanzo smiles, running a hand through Jesse’s hair as he nibbles lightly across his throat.

 

“Because you’re just that sweet.” Jesse smiles against Hanzo’s neck and Hanzo huffs, feigning annoyance.

 

“You’re insufferable.”

 

“I try.” Jesse’s then pulling Hanzo into bed, not letting go of his waist.

 

“I don’t remember agreeing to keep your company tonight.” Hanzo says, but curls up against Jesse anyway.

 

“I love you, too.” Jesse mumbles, kissing Hanzo on his mouth once more.

 

“I love you.” 

 

And Hanzo means it, his anxieties aren’t completely gone but he feels better. 

 

He falls asleep in Jesse’s arms, believing everything is going to be okay.

  
  
  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> I probably can’t write anything too sad without also adding fluff


End file.
